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martytx07 37, Male, Texas, USA - 53 entries

Apr 2007
1:07 PM CST

Ok, soooo anyways, nothing has been going on too much. Umm, I haven't really written in a while...well I only missed one week but I guess that's a lot when I only get these things four times a month. So anyways, umm, over the weekend I didn't do too much so yeah, and I'm debating whether or not I should go to prom. I haven't asked anyone so I'm sorting of thinking oh no, it's getting too late but I don't really care to go. It's senior prom for me so I'm thinking that I really should go...I don't know, lol. Umm, I missed school today because I just didn't wake up. It's a good thing I didn't go because I don't know how I would've gotten home. Rose took Dillion home but his freaking mom wasn't home so she stayed in Waco and she's barley coming back right now. So yeah, oh and she still has Dillion. I hope that Dillion really goes to school tomorrow because TAKS and I really think he needs to take that. His mom needs to get her priorities straight...makes me mad to see other people in control of his life, I just really want the best for him. I think at times I'm hoping for too much because I want him to be more than what I ever was both academically and athletically. A lot of times I think I push him too much because I feel that no one really pushed me, I mean, I think I'm doing really great in school don't get me wrong but I think if I had more encouragement or people wanting to help me when i was younger I could've done so much better. I don't know, I just hope the best for him. I ask him about the future and he says he doesn't want to go to college and when he says that it really makes me mad. I tell him what kind of life he will live but he doesn't seem to care. I see kids like him all around me at school but I didn't think he would become like that. I don't know. Ok, well let me get of that subject, Friday is Senior Breakfast and I paid $13 for that ticket so it better be a pretty damn good breakfast. I'm not sure what I'm gonna wear though, lol. Just throw on some slacks and a dress shirt and some dress shoes I guess. Anyways, so hopefully that will be fun. Umm, the end of the 6 weeks finally came to an end on Friday and I'm not sure what I got in some classes. I think I did bad in English because...I'm not sure if I talked about this in another journal, probably not, but anyways, I didn't do this assignment, daily grade homework, and so that's a 0 in the grade book and it's killing me and we couldn't do it so I'm like stressed out about it. I'm just hoping that I make at least an 80. If anything lower than that I'm gonna be PISSED! Oh well, that's enough talking, later guys. Ok, and I decided that I want to get more personal on this thing and I just hope that my family doesn't find this, lol. I'm gay! Yeah, shocking! Ok, so anyways, I've known I've been gay forever and I'm not out to anyone other than people online, haha, how pathetic? I really wanna come out because I think when I do that I can be more true to myself and people around me. And I'm taking a psychology class and I think the stuff in there is really interesting. I myself think it's ridiculous to think that gays choose this "lifestyle" Believe me, I don't think I would want to choose living a life where I have to be afraid of what my family and everyone else is going to think about me. Well anyways, the book talks a lot about things that are different in gay males compared to straight males. Physical differences <--Ok, well if anyone ever reads my journals you would've seen that it stopped there because my sister came in and of course what I was writing was very personal! So let me continue...Physical differenences that are similar to females so it's not something that people just choose. I never believed that I chose to be gay but I have at times felt that it was wrong. I know, it's stupid because there would be like no way I would've chosen to live my life as a gay person. It was something I'm guessing I was born with just as people were born with blue eyes, blonde hair, etc. So yeah, that's about all I'm going to write. Nothing really more to say :) Lataz!

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Stewart 74, Male, United Kingdom - 2 entries

Apr 2007
6:12 PM GMT

Time is eternal,Life is short and crisis are fleeting

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SeeWhy 59, Female, West Virginia, USA - 41 entries

Apr 2007
1:39 PM EDT

That's it...I have to be done with this...this game I am playing. I keep letting one guy tell me things I have longed to hear all and I do mean all of my life...Ever since I watched my very first "happily ever after". He doesnt mean any of it and even if he did. It wont last. He will see what I really am and run or change. I have to find a way to get out of this marriage I am in anyway. It is top priority. I cant find a new life until I close the door on the old. I dont want to take a risk like falling for anyone else. It hurts too much.

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Lost 39, Female, Washington, USA - 76 entries

Apr 2007
9:53 PM EDT

okay so i didn't see TK last night and i wont see him tonight its wired but good he told me light where he was and what he was doing yesterday but to day i loved it he told me early what his plans where and what was going to happen so i guess we are taking baby steps but we are getting there okay on other notes he don't want anyone to know really and its okay with me mostly but i have a few friends that are great people but like me hate being lied to so i had to tell them and tell them the deal so that i didn't lie to them really made a new friend today and that was cool i thought of TK most of the day i wonder if he thinks about me half as much as i think of him i doubt it

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blue4u 48, Female, Louisiana, USA - 6 entries

Apr 2007
9:25 PM EDT

who really knows where this world is going or how long we all have left here....

who would have known that finding love would be so hard.......and what do we call happiness.......At times in my life I know I have experienced love and felt it...only thing it was short tem or I guess you could say another level of it ....Such as loving your brother or family oreven stronger the birth of your children.....but what about that run to the end of the world to catch up with your racing heart once you see that one person....or even from a phone call......IF you was ever to catch up with this out of the world kind of love,,,,,what would happen...the tickle in your stomache or the glow on your face when your glad you woke up too be there only for a feeling......would you be able to keep it the same and never let it come to a lesser degree or ever let it fade.....

why does it fade if it were really love..... humans are not perfect but love is suppose to be...... So how can an imperfect thing have a perfect anything......SO its only a matter of time bfore it spoils....even know we now this as we have for eternity We will still look steal 4 ity

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cutieemuffin 35, Female, Ohio, USA - 6 entries

Apr 2007
9:06 AM EDT

So really theres nothing new. Spring Break is over and im kinda upset cause i really didnt wanna come back to school. theres not really anything new lately, just the same old stuff. theres is a plus though..... we only have like 6 weeks left of school!! i cant wait till summer vaca. im goin to florida and prolly goin camping with my friends. so its not like i wont have anything to do! but im not doin band though. thank god.... i will admit that i will kinda miss it and i think its dumb were quittn our senior year but he is a complete jerk. i dunno what i wanna do with my life though. im thinkin of bein a cosmatologist (?) but i just dunno but i think i have all this time but in like 6 weeks im gunna be a senior so we'll see what happens. well i think thats about all for now!!!

Jess

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lifeisoutthere 54, Male, Iowa, USA - 2 entries

Apr 2007
9:01 PM EDT

Hello Everyone,

I hope your weekend went well if not just look ahead the future hopefully is better for you down the path.

Life Is Out There

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Apr 2007
5:40 AM MST

of course eye have been both drunk and sober

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shirleyxu 54, Female, China - 301 entries

Apr 2007
10:29 AM EST

浮躁vs 造福

我从前不太理解'浮躁'这个词，这几年总听人家讲，慢慢有点感觉和认识，实际上勤劳勇敢的中国人民为什么会在今天陷入'浮躁'的情绪呢？复兴和浮躁是不是兄弟呢？

浮是因为人生苦短，大家都没耐性寻规蹈距，像过去的人那样深刻地活着。躁是欲速而不达时内心的躁动感。

现代人发觉自己的脑袋越来越不够用，又不好意思承认彻底迷失了，于是众里寻他千百度，惑然回首'古人'确在灯火阑珊处。

为了证明我们不'浮'，百家讲坛里我们大论诸子百家，老祖宗一一被心得。地底下的圣贤们都会在被窝里笑出声来，千百年后'吾'竟又莫名其妙地大红大紫了一回。接下来圣人们忏悔自己当年为何没在人间留下足够的'圣人基因'，如果张子，王子，李子，赵子都成器，今日的少男少女们就不用老子，庄子，孔子留下的老掉了牙的发霉'语录'。

为了显得我们还不'躁'，历史名著篇篇卷卷遭点评，历史这个住在烟花巷隔壁的大'闺女'被涂上了新一代的珠光唇彩，大家伙都感到她变得更妩媚，更耐看了。但她毕竟不想整日伺侯形形色色的功利的'客人'，还是想在那位好心'官人'的搭救下从良。

置身浮着的人群，躁着的城市，你会感到自己自觉不自觉地呼进浮气，吐出躁火，浮躁实际上不是'个人行为表象'，而是社会'群体征状'。但愿我们大浮大躁过后回归到人人争着'造福'社会的情绪。

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cbutterfly 35, Female, North Carolina, USA - 24 entries

Apr 2007
7:04 PM EDT

My day has been very good my grandpa is doing good pray for him. Back to school the next day ha ha bye. mood happy.

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